I often have the words of parenting articles I have read running through my mind throughout the day. Things like attachment parenting, co sleeping, the middle child/forgotten child and so on, then of course the immediate after thought, Mummy guilt.
I am not really any different to a million other Mummies, I am just trying to make my way in the ‘Work from Home’ environment and in doing so I endeavor to get the balance right, but always, I have the mummy guilt.
It could be as simple as not picking up one of the kids when they cry because I am busy replying to an email, or writing a proposal or editing some photos etc, you get the idea. It could be that I decide to serve up a ‘summer’ dinner where nothing is actually cooked or hot but still nutritionally good. It could be that I put the clothes in the dryer instead of hanging them on the line when it is sunny even though I know it will cost money to do so. In all of these examples I am plagued with the ‘mummy guilt’. I am an educated, reasonably balanced person who can see from the outside in (I think psychiatrists call this insight) but I still “feel” mummy guilt. So to compensate I have over enthusiastic moments of stupidity and silliness with my kids which warms both the body and the soul. My kids are always happy and never complain about anything which in a way only makes me feel worse as I think I should be giving them so much more.
So to snap out of it all I make myself think rationally about how it is healthy for ‘Mummy” to run her own business and that it is better I do it from home where they can have access to me rather than be full time in the care of someone else. I readily and happily make use of daycare but I do also love to pick them up and clock off at the end of the day. The thing is, well, the thing is – I never clock off.
So I am not crying for help but rather lamenting out loud at how much of a topsy turvy world it is to enter – that of the home based entrepreneur. I am certain there are 100’s if not 1000’s of other people out there experiencing the same thing but often it is not spoken about and if it is spoken, it is rarely written about.
So here goes, I accept that I am a mother first, a good one at that, but that I am also an individual with personal hopes, dreams and aspirations and I honest to goodness hope that the adage ” a happy mother is a happy home” is true as that is the mantra I have to live by!